shuttled you to and from a midnight madness mall, and all I get is ‘thank’? it’s a good thing I’m awesome
I don’t why, but I couldn’t sleep the other night and was running thru this in my head. Hopefully it works for you. This is truly as random as they come.
Will the coach be fired?
New England – NO
Miami – No.
Jets – No
Buffalo – Maybe, quickly heading to yes as they swoon. The wildcard is Jauron is signed thru 2011 and Buffalo may not be in a position to pay two coaches.
Cincinnati – oh yea, though he’s still signed for a couple years.
Cleveland – yes. surely already working on the interview list, though the GM may go too
Pittsburgh – no. secured his place by correctly identifying the overdose of vitamins this week.
Baltimore – no
Indianapolis – not getting fired, but I’m thinking Dungy is retiring after this season. Even if they don’t win it all, it’s a pretty good coaching season to go out on.
Tennessee – no chance. If they win the SuperBowl, he’s safe for a long time here.
Houston – not yet, but Kubiak’s going to be on the hot seat next year and could be a in season cut if they stumble again. This team is never as good as it should be.
Jaguars – they’ve been so consistently good the last few years, I think they keep him around. But this team has been so disappointing this year, you never know.
Denver – probably safe, safe for sure if they make the playoffs
San Diego – probably needs to make the playoffs AND win a game to be safe. If they didn’t have to admit they were very wrong about the last head coach change in the process, they’d surely make another move right now. I think they have to fire Norv after this, but not sure.
Kansas – yes yes yes yes. This is a Monday After The Season guarantee
Oakland – interim, so sure, though he’ll probably just go back to his old position on the staff
Eagles – If they don’t make a big run, he’s got to be done here. Keeping Reid would be showing insane levels of loyalty.
Redskins – Nope
Giants – Nope
Cowboys – if they did not win last week, this would be on the Yes side. If they fall short of the playoffs, it’s Yes, and Wade probably has to win a playoff game to be safe.
Bears – from a distance, I’d say he should be, based on how the wheels have completely come off. But living here, I know I’d be surprised if I heard it happen. He’s close with the rest of the front office. There’s a drumbeat for firing the D-Coordinator and for getting rid of the scheme, but not yet the Coach
Packers – no. though he won’t be getting work on house done this summer, just to avoid any odd phone calls
Minnesota – playoffs would save the job, but this is a mess. Maybe.
Detroit – so so gone. This is another day after the season firing.
Carolina – safe; things change quick
Atlanta – safe, no one outside of Atlanta knows his name
New Orleans – after two straight declining seasons, you’d think Payton would be in trouble here, but I think it’s still a season too soon. Still have time here.
Tampa Bay – safe
San Fransisco – gone, and not getting a head coach job for some time
Seattle – wishes he decided to leave one year earlier
St. Louis – interim coach not sticking
Arizona – as safe as they come
I’m counting 10 coaches sure to be fired, and 6 more as maybes. That’s half the league! Some guys will win their way off that list, but the ax is going to fall at a record level this January.
Now that Ryan’s resigned, the chances of this happening go down quite a lot. I still think it’s worth pursuing, because…
* Randy Johnson was actually pretty good last year. Look past the record, and you see a 44 year old start who managed 30 starts, 2 complete games, and a 117 ERA+. Those are better numbers than Lilly and Z last year.
* The Cubs lead the league in Ks in 2008. The Cubs lead the league in Ks every year. Unit would help keep this gong.
* No one likes to remember this, but Jason Marquis is still a member of the Cubs. They’re paying him NINE MILLION DOLLARS for 09. This must be fixed.
* Everyone says Randy Johnson is a miserable person. Either being a Cub all year will cheer him up, or the pressure of the fans will cause him to have 4-7 “Don’t talk back when I’m talking to you!” incidents. Excitement either way.
* Until something happens to distract, the 2009 season is going to be miserable. If they’re bad or average, it’ll be a downer after where they were last year. If they’re good, everyone complains about how little being good means if you don’t do it in the playoffs. I’m sure Z will do something wacky or everyone will get obsessed with every pitch thrown on the outside to Kosuke, but why not have an extra amusing event built into the season?
Johnson is at 295 and is really only coming back to get 300 to boost his HOF chances. This alone is funny, because at no time can he ever really admit this publicly even if everyone knows it to be true (it ruins the image), but because he’s inevitably going to get 300 with a team he’s only won 5 games with. I would really enjoy a countdown to 300, the look back at all his memorable Cub wins when he gets there, the absurd debate about what cap he’ll wear in the HOF (absurd because who cares what cap they’re wearing) and all the other pomp & circumstances that come with reaching an established but arbitrary round number.
Plus, five wins means it’s going to happen right around my birthday, when I hit a very similar round number, and the symmetry would be fantastic. And it’d be far better than just waiting for October.