SmackDown Special, 11/29


Special recap, for a “special” show. In the retarded sense, of course.

Is Benoit dead? I’m kinda afriad to read the news to find out if he’s dead or not.

You know, now that I think about it some more, if they had just had Rey get the three count after the frog splash, things wouldn’t have not sucked, but they would’ve sucked less.

Edit: WEDNESDAY is Next Top Model/Veronica Mars night. Tuesday is “NTM rerun/comedies that aren’t good enough to break into our Monday lineup” night, which doesn’t actually do too well and makes sense to stunt pre-empt to nudge the ratings up a little bit during sweeps. I’m a moron who didn’t do my research, please shoot me.

Did the stunt replacement work?

Overnight ratings:

This Tuesday (whole night): 2.3/3 (1.3 for 18-49, ahead of WBs 1.2)
Last Tuesday (whole night): 1.7/3 (1.1 for 18-49, behind of WBs 2.5)

Last week, WB aired new episodes of shows, while they aired a movie this week, so competition was easier, but any little bit helps.

I read this as pretty good news for SmackDown!’s chances of being renewed, because they’ve proved that they are maginally better than replacement UPN junk, and can make their overall ratings look good even if they’re not getting the same cash for ads the WB does for the same time slot. If both sides come up with a finicial agreement they’re happy with, and nothing else tragic or drastic happens to SmackDown! between now and May, they’re coming back for at least another year, and the brand split isn’t going away unless the WWE wants it to go away.

Tuesday flashback


WWE Super Tuesday – 11/12/02
Eddie Guerrero b Chris Benoit and Edge [3]
Torrie NC Trish [bikini]
Triple H, Jamal, Rosey, Chris Jericho and Christian b Booker T, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Bubba Ray Dudley, Rob Van Dam

More or less than you’d think be left from three years ago? More than I’d thought.

I think the current UPN deal gives WWE X (where X is probably 1 hour) amount of specials per year. Like 3 years ago, they’re actually scheduling it during a ratings period. It a far more iffy move this time, but I’d guess they’re buying time between Top Model seasons. Quite a program shift, there.

The Eddie bio pic (which aired on a Friday) was the special in 2004, and I faintly remember a Divas deal in 2003.

garbage in, garbage out


Sometimes, I don’t think WWE is stupid. I think they’re justly badly informed.

Every aspiring .net wrestling columnist has attempted to make the same point in the last month: the RAW/SmackDown! feud doesn’t work, because it’s unbelievable the wrestlers would have such strong feelings about their brand, with many of them having been on the other show in the recent past. I’m not arguing their wrong, although I think it’s worthwhile to take it case by case for a moment

Should they have a strong affinity for their current show?

JBL: his career peak has come on SmackDown, so Yes.
Mysterio: never a part of RAW. Yes.
Lashley: never a part of RAW. Yes.
Batista: his ascension happened on RAW, and he’s really been The Man on SmackDown. He really shouldn’t have a strong preference either way, but I think since he’s the top guy on SmackDown, he’s got take it upon himself to be the leader. Yes.
Orton: Big career wins happened on RAW, Undertaker notwithstanding. No.
(Eddie would’ve been an easy Yes. Christian would’ve been a No. Matt would be a Yes.)

HBK: never been a part of SD!. Yes.
Chris Masters: never been a part of SD!. Yes.
Kane: never been a part of SD! (I think). Yes.
Carlito: Carlito’s been on both shows, been on the same position on both shows, hasn’t particularly cared. No.
Big Show: Too recent of a jump. No.

7-3. Not bad. Should be better.

Anyway, my point isn’t that the angle makes sense – let’s go with the concept that brands mean nothing more to wrestler than what days they work, what day they’re on TV, and what color shirt they wear to meetings, and work from there.

Any hack writer can cite this and say “this premise doesn’t work at all! I can’t believe they’re doing this.” See, I just did. It doesn

big questions with low demand


I don’t expect anyone to know this, but I’m writing it to work it out a little bit.

In a SQL database (in this case mySQL accessed via PHP), which way is better when trying to update a set of related records:

– DELETE all records which have major key
– INSERT with the changed data for each minor key

– SELECT based on minor key for each record
– INSERT if record with key not found and SELECT to get the new minor key
– UPDATE if record is found and there are changes
– DELETE all record with major key if not one of the selected minor keys

If everything else is even, you want A if you do a lot of changes and B if you only have a few, but I guess the real question is if everything else is even; do different SQL query types require more or less of the system?

This shouldn’t really bug me, but it’s not a situation where the database is gonna get hit a lot to begin with, but still, I wish I knew what was the right way.

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various shady doctors reported to be depressed


Holy carp!

In a joint meeting today with the RAW and SmackDown rosters in the United Kingdom, in Sheffield, Vince McMahon announced that within the next several weeks, a new drug testing policy will be implemented in which performance enhancing drugs, such as steroids, etc., recreational drugs, as well as abuse of prescription drugs will be banned.

In addition to the new drug testing procedure, there will also be an emphasis on cardiovascular examinations.

The specifics of the drug policy will be announced over the next several weeks. More details to follow. Check with for the latest information.

Should you believe this will stick? No, no, no, probably not. But that they’d even TRY, whoa. This is the “we’re at least TRYING to fix this” message I’ve been waiting for, particularly the heart exam stuff.

I know Chris Masters ain’t the only guy on steriods, but, for a guy like him, where does this leave him? His gimmick and his reason for existance is based on his look, and his look has basically just been outlawed. Even if this only lasts for a short time, it’s gonna hugely affect some guys and their career.

no Velocity or Heat recaps this week


I suspected, when I remembered this week was going to be a double taping, that’d they just do the same thing on Heat and Velocity they did when they were still on US TV – make ’em clips shows of RAW and SmackDown! for the week.

This week’s Heat is up, and it appears that’s what they’ll be doing. I don’t feel comfortable recapping recaps of people crying because they’ve lost a close friend, so I’m going to just take a pass this week.

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manager assistance


Every so often, I do a little charity work. Today, I’ll help the Dodgers find a manager.

“We are looking for a great leader, somebody who has won — who has won the last game of the season,” Colletti said. His goal, he added, would be “winning and building at the same time.”

Winning and building at the same time? Why didn’t anyone else figure that one out?

I assume by winning the last game of the season, he doesn’t mean winning on September 30th to end the season 70-92.

Winning Managers of the last 15 years
– Lou Piniella (’90) – free agent?
– Tom Kelly (’91) – retired
– Cito Gaston (’92, ’93) – forgetton
– Bobby Cox (’95) – still with ATL
– Joe Torre (’96, ’98, ’99, ’00) – still with NYY
– Jim Leyland (’97) – somehow with DET
– Bob Brenly (’01) – AVAILABLE!!!!
– Mike Scioscia (’02) – still with LAA
– Jack McKeon (’03) – retired
– Terry Francona (’04) – still with BOS

No one’s hiring Cito Gaston. I have no idea why, but it’s apparently not happening so let’s go with it. My guess is Colletti had Pinella in mind when he said that line (assuming he had anyone in line, and wasn’t thinking in house) because he got a lot press going into the off season and got out of the Tampa job so he could manage somewhere else as soon as this year if he wanted to.

Pinella won a championship 15 years ago, and hasn’t even been back to the World Series since then. He’s spent the last 13 years in the AL, 10 with a Seattle team he couldn’t ever get all the way, and 3 sucking dirt as a Devil Rays manager, which might have dulled him from being involved in actual major league baseball. Pinella’s not a guy who’s familiar with the NL, much less the NL West. The Dodgers need someone who’s had noted success in that division. They NEED Bob Brenly.

Who wouldn’t want a manager like that? All you need after that is to find a really tall pitcher and a really talkative computer dork pitcher, and you’ve got everything you need to get to the World Series.

I know, it’d be so tough losing him as a Cubs announcer, but I think we might be able to get along without him. Someone’s gotta still have Stone’s phone number.



Snow’s here. It’s dropped 20 degrees since yesterday. Fall would be neater if it wasn’t 6 weeks long. I’m not sure I’m in the mood for this just quite yet.

Wish I was busier right now.

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I hate talking about anyone after they’ve died, while the loss is still bitting your heart. It’s just – the thing I want most at the moment is for the person not to be dead, and there are no words which will make it happen. All the words are pointless, all actions feel pointless, everything is worthless. I can tell you how much I miss Eddie, and you can nod and respond because you feel the same way, and it’s all irrelevant. Everything you know seems to be a spec of dirt in a sand storm, powerless compared to the whims of the world. What’s the point?

But I didn’t sleep much last night, and won’t sleep again good till I talk this out, at least a little bit. And since I’m in between situations where I can wake someone up at midnight to talk about it, you’re stuck reading it.

I admired Eddie as a wrestler. But I admired him more as a man. Eddie should’ve died in that New Year’s Eve car accident, but fate smiled upon him and he lived. And it probably was not the only time he was starting death straight in the face before he finally turned it around. Not enough credit can be given to him for doing it – many people try, few are able to turn their lives around like Eddie did. I really wish he was still with us, but I’m so thankful he was able to face his demons and get four more happy and good years out of his life. He got a second chance, he made the most out of it, and I’m grateful to been part of it as a fan.

I can’t imagine a more horrible experience possible than what Chavo went thru that morning.

I’m depressed that by Sunday afternoon, I had figured out what the shows were going to be like this week and what things would happen that people would complain about, because this has happened enough where they have a freaking formula for tribute shows. I know I’m being unfair, but it’s completely wrong that they just can handle deaths because they’re used to it, it’s run of the mill on some level. It screams out that something’s tragically horrible wrong here, and I don’t what to do it. I don’t know if I should just stop watching or if me and people like me are so trivial in the big picture that it’s irrelevant too. I don’t have any answer.

I couldn’t really handle RAW after “Hurt” – it was all just too much, but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything else, so I kept on watching it. It was all just too weird to be thinking about Eddie and seeing stuff like MNM’s entrance, just as usual, and trying to take it the least bit serious. Even the good matches weren’t good enough to undistract me. Watching the HBK/Rey match reminded me I had complained about not getting HBK/Eddie or HBK/Rey matches about a month ago, and I hope we get a chance to try this match again on a happier day. The only stuff that really worked for me were the comedy bits, I guess because I really needed a break and they provided it. They really should’ve dropped the taping-kayfabe for the night and out right said Chavo was going to wrestle on SmackDown! – not as much as an ad as to let people to know why he wasn’t wresting on this show. Same with Benoit.

Everyday, you have a chance to change it all. Don’t waste it.

TNA Genesis 11/13


Scott watched Genesis, and transcribed Christian Cage’s debut

“So I can, I can guess you can imagine the question that I got asked the most this week. ‘Are the rumors that we’ve been hearing true? Is it true that you’re going to TNA? And if so, why?’ Well I’ll tell you this much – (Christian Cage chant) – I can tell you this much, I didn’t come here to see the same guy come out and say the same damn thing week after week after week. And I didn’t come here to see a grown man dressed up like a doctor pullin’ things out of another man’s ass. And you can be damn sure I didn’t come here because I got fired. Which brings me to another rumor that I wanna address and put to bed right now, the rumor that I got lowballed in a contract offer. Well that’s not true at all, actually I was offered a very hefty sum to stay exactly where I was. But the reason that I came to TNA is the same reason that each and every one of you is in this arena right now. The same reason that everybody’s watchin’ Genesis live on pay-per-view. And that reason is that I love WRESTLING. Now you know, I’ve been known to crack a joke or two, say somethin’ sarcastic, pull a rib. But I don’t want anybody to ever forget the fact that I am without a doubt the greatest all-around performer in this sport today. It’s like this – I’m tired of egos and politics, I wanna see guys in this ring bustin’ their asses! I wanna see wrestling re-invented. Like last night I turn on SpikeTV, I’m watchin Impact – little plug for ya – and it reminded me of when I broke onto the national wrestling scene eight years ago. There was two companies. One was old, stale and lacking direction. The other one I was a part of, it was young, hungry and cutting-edge. Fast forward eight years to this very moment, and there’s still two companies. One is old, boring, and lacking direction. And the other one is T. N. A. And I said, ‘This is somethin’ that I wanna be a part of. In fact, I wanna be the biggest piece of this puzzle.’ Which brings me to Jeff Jarrett. I’ve got two things to say to you. One, you should never wear white pants after Labor Day. And two, I’ve come to TNA to take the one thing that’s eluded me my entire career. The one thing we both can agree on is the most important and prized possession in this sport, the NWA World Heavyweight Championship! So I want everybody right now to stand up and take notice, that Christian Cage is HERE! And Christian Cage will fulfill his destiny, BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I ROLL!”

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