Day: September 15, 2005

The weather turned Wednesday. Summer 80s are gone for another year (with the exception of TPI weekend, where the room wouldn’t feel right if it wasn’t 90 degrees). Chicago’s in the four to eight week in the nice comfortable area between sweating and chilling, where you can walk around without a jacket or a water bottle. It’s a nice change.

Now that summer is over, I’ve thought of three things it forgot to bring this year:
– a decent amount of rain (poor dead lawn)
– about 8 more Cub wins
– a WWE World Title change

John Cena and (occasionally Dave) Batista haven’t lost their belts since they both won them at WrestleMania, and in teh era where people thought it wasn’t realistic for someone to hold a title for a long time, they’re doing just that. Though I’m not near as high on the quality of the title reigns, the lengths are bordering on historic/”they really ought to be mentioning this on TV” distances.

Date of first World Title change after WM, per year
04/21 2002
04/30 2000
05/23 1999
06/13 1993
06/27 2004 WWE
06/28 1998
07/27 2003 WWE
08/03 1997
08/15 2004 WORLD
09/01 1992
————— <- you are here 09/18 2005? (Unforgiven) 09/21 2003 WORLD 09/23 2001 10/09 2005? (No Mercy) 11/17 1996 11/19 1995 11/23 1994 11/27 1992 11/27 2005? (Survivor Series) 01/19 1991 It'd be pretty shocking if Batista lost the belt at the next TV taping or any time before the PPV, so he's going to pass pass Triple H in '04 and Austin in '01 and become the longest survivor in nearly ten years (HBK in '96.) His No Mercy challenger is looking like it'll be Eddie, and I don't know if they'd have him be the man to take the title. If they don't, Survivor Series seems as good a place as any for a switch (the change that day in '92 is Undertaker beating Hogan), but there's no looming opponent for him. This probably has something with WWE desperately searching for permenant answers and trying not to sabotage the current possibilites, and a lack of attractive alternatives at the same time. Ultimately, this title belt is destined for Orton by WrestleMania, but even his case isn't strong enough anymore to make them hurry. I'm not so sure about Cena's chances of continuning as champion. Where I can't imagine a drawn out Eddie/Batista feud requiring Eddie to win the belt, I certianly can see that with Cena/Angle. Neither side has a NEXT challenger primed, but there's a lot more spark in the Angle/Cena stuff. Unforgiven isn't near strong enough a show to do a indecisive finish in the main event, so whatever they do, they're going to have to give a pinfall or submission finish, and if Cena/Angle is going long, it can't be Angle looking at the lights. The reflexive theory of booking ("whoever lost the last match going into the big match will win the big match") points Cena's way, but what's best for next doesn't.

Justin wants YOU to pick the Five Best Heat Moments Ever from his 60 nominees.

• 1998: Mankind (with Kane) challenges the Undertaker to a match. Undertaker doesn’t come out, but Kane attacks Mankind and unmasks to reveal himself as … the Undertaker.
• 1998: Terri Runnels announces that she’s pregnant with Val Venis’ baby.
• 1998: with the help of the Blue Meanie, Duane Gill defeats Christian for the Light Heavyweight Title.
• 1998: George “The Animal” Steele joins The Oddities.
• 1999: Mr. McMahon, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco beat up Jose Lothario in San Antonio.
  
  

• 1999: Owen Hart vs. Steve Blackman in a Lion’s Den Match.
• 1999: Chyna and Vince McMahon have an arm wrestling match.
• 1999: prior to the Royal Rumble, Mabel returns under a mask to wrestle Mankind.
• 1999: on Halftime Heat, Mankind defeats Rock for the WWF Title in an Empty Arena Match.
• 1999: prior to St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, Bob Backlund, the Iron Sheik, and Dominic DeNucci help Mankind prepare for his match with the Rock, suggest dropkicks.
  
  

• 1999: Mankind congratulates Al Snow on his new job with La-Z-Boy, which he finds surprising since Al doesn’t sell chairs.
• 1999: the video feed goes out; Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole host an historic radio broadcast of Sunday Night Heat.
• 1999: Ed Ferrara does a Jim Ross impression for Tiger Ali Singh; “Dr. Death” Steve Williams throws him on his head.
• 1999: Prince Albert debuts, attacking the Big Boss Man and joining up with Droz.
• 1999: Dok Hendrix aligns with the Hardy Boyz and returns to being Michael Hayes.
  
  

• 1999: upset about the identity of the Higher Power, Steve Austin stuns every wrestler on the show.
• 1999: tired of suckas and friggidy frontas thinking they cool, Too Much is reborn as Too Cool, the innovators, the originators, the mastur…percolators, of cool.
• 1999: The Rock tells a story about when Billy Gunn prays to God and asks why everyone still thinks he absolutely sucks. God addresses him as Bob, “but my name’s Billy” “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS.”
• 1999: Terri secretly slips Sean Stasiak viagra; he wrestles the Big Boss Man with an erection.
• 1999: while asking for information about his missing dog Pepper, Al Snow gives out Val Venis’ cell phone number.
  
  

• 2000: in an exclusive Halftime Heat interview, Steve Austin publicly reveals his marriage to Debra.
• 2000: Essa Rios, with the debuting Lita, beats Gillberg for the Light Heavyweight Title.
• 2000: the first appearance of Trish Stratus, scouting Test.
• 2000: Chris Benoit kicks a car door on Tazz’s arm.
• 2000: Hardcore Holly eats all the fruit in Triple H’s dressing room; HHH calls him “Mr. Can’t Catch Any Fruit.”
  
  

• 2000: Edge & Christian have a dream of double gold; Mick Foley forces Christian to lose weight by wearing Kurt Angle’s chicken suit.
• 2000: Dean Malenko vs. Just Joe and Just Joe’s TitanTron video, which features shots of Just Joe with speech bubbles saying things like “Word in the back …”
• 2000: at WWF New York, musical guest Pat Patterson sings “It’s A Wonderful World.”
• 2000: T&A and Trish Stratus play strip poker with the APA and lose.
• 2000: prior to No Mercy, Kurt Angle conducts an exclusive interview with video clips of the Rock, threatens to “end this interview right now, mister.”
  
  

• 2000: Jerry Lawler paints Rebecca Budig in the nude.
• 2000: Road Dogg and K-Kwik perform “Gettin’ Rowdy” at WWF New York.
• 2000: Kaientai debut their new ability to speak in English voiceovers, “in-DEED.”
• 2001: Kaientai challenge the APA, lose in seconds, challenge them to a rematch, lose in seconds, challenge them to a third match, and lose in seconds.
• 2001: Molly Holly unmasks Raven’s ninja bodyguard to reveal none other than, yes, Tori.
  
  

• 2001: master sensei Raven teaches the Germ how to be hardcore.
• 2001: Lita beats Spike Dudley.
• 2001: Jerry Lynn debuts and defeats Crash Holly for the Light Heavyweight Title.
• 2001: Bradshaw calls Ed Ferrara a “fat redheaded troll;” Sean O’Haire and Chuck Palumbo attack the APA at WWF New York.
• 2001: Palumbo & O’Haire vs. Sean Stasiak & Kanyon in an historic WCW Tag Title match.
  
  

• 2001: Tazz and Al Snow have a heated confrontation about Tough Enough and the Alliance which leads to fisticuffs.
• 2001: Billy Gunn saves Chuck Palumbo from a 2-on-1 attack and they hit it off instantly.
• 2001: on New Year’s Eve eve, new Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho sends in an interview from poolside in which he flicks imaginary wrestlers off his hand, saying ‘bink, boop.’
• 2002: D’Lo Brown returns to WWF television and wrestles Eddie Guerrero.
• 2002: exiled from Raw, Raven declares Heat his own personal playground.
  
  

• 2002: following loss to Steven Richards, Matt Hardy declares self Matt Hardy Version One, debuts the V1 hand signal.
• 2002: after weeks of games and manipulations, D’Lo Brown finally gets Raven in the ring.
• 2002: Raven paints his Seven Deadly Sins masterpiece by making a guy eat food that he stepped on.
• 2002: Raven abandons his masterpiece and defeats Tomy Dreamer to return to Raw for two weeks until his release.
• 2003: prior to Wrestlemania 19, John Cena battleraps cardboard cutouts of Jay-Z and Fabolous, tells them that even if they lived in a sperm bank, they couldn’t get their comeback.
  
  

• 2003: Steven Richards announces the concept of Stevie Night Heat and becomes Heat General Manager.
• 2003: world champion Triple H slums on Heat to wrestle Maven.
• 2003: Victoria and Stevie interrupt Al Stone’s lunch; Victoria stomps around on the table in fuzzy slippers claiming to be Godzilla; Tommy Dreamer ruins Stevie’s hat (“my gift I gave you!” – Victoria)
• 2004: the Dudleys defeat Lance Storm and Val Venis to earn a tag title shot at Wrestlemania 20.
• 2004: prior to Wrestlemania 20, Josh Mathews and Rue de Bona take hansom cab ride in Central Park.
  
  

• 2004: a mysterious woman who is surely not Steven Richards helps Victoria beat Gail Kim.
• 2004: Maven rescues Nidia from Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko.
• 2005: William Regal and Tajiri beat La Resistance in their last ever chance at the tag titles, a stipulation that lasts a single week.
• 2005: Maria meets the Heart Throbs, whoa whoa whoa, no no no, oh oh oh.
• 2005: Rob Conway reveals that the two years he spent in La Resistance were all an elaborate con, explains that he is, in actuality, the Con Man and does things the Con Way.

I can’t decide on which five. It’s an agonzing decision