now hiring


Monk needs new nurse

The episode about three weeks ago was all about how the show wouldn’t work nearly as well without Sharona, so this is super timing. (I’m not sure if I mean Creative Writing or Game Show, though only one of them was intended that way.) I hope the CSI stuff is precedent here and everyone gets on the same page before it matters.

(Multiple categories. That’s so cute.)

Sven: You probably could’ve wedged Flash into the episode, but it wouldn’t have been worth the effort. Everything was done so hilariously well – I thought Wonder Pig deflecting the bullet was the topper, but Batman singing the blues was ultimate – I’d be afriad to mess up that kind of success. Plus, the pig searching montage was a nice way for them to get in a lot of cameos.

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CHC --- 31 (Prior @ MON Hernandez)
SDP 0.5 32 (Lawrence @ STL Williams)
SFG 1.0 29 (Tomko v COL Francis)
FLA 4.0 33 (Beckett @ NYM Trachsel)
HOU 4.0 31 (Backe @ CIN Harang)

That’s much more like it.

I don’t even know if I’m busy today. I was, then I wasn’t, then I will be. It was pretty funny, I opened up a message in Outlook, and it gets to “the meeting will be at” before freezing. Then it unfroze and I was less happy.

Triple Quotes

Dusty Baker on the Cubs TV crew: “I said, ‘Don’t listen to the TV. Just watch it.'” (Daily Herald)

The Cubs are upset with the media reaction to their tirades against umpires, broadcasters and opposing players. They’re upset Kent Mercker’s phone call to the press box to complain about the broadcasters was leaked. They’re upset that Berkman faked being hit in the head. Remlinger even joked Monday that the media should just buy the Cubs some pacifiers, before adding it was probably too expensive for them to afford. (ChiTrib)

Like the devalued dollar, the turbulence of Cubs emotions also doesn’t fare well in the exchange rate when crossing the Canadian border. (ChiSunTimes)

Neifi Perez joins the club tomorrow.

Greg Maddux needs 2 wins to get 15. He’s got 5 starts.

I’m semi surprised more Cub fans didn’t travel up to Montreal. They’ve been everywhere else.

Prior has pitched three straight QS. He hasn’t had four in a row this season.

That’s all I got for you. I wanted to drop Livan’s S/N record, but BP’s not coming up on this computer since the downtime (server switch?).

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no sleep til 2:30


I’m back in the evening nap mode, totally screwsing me in every other way except needed bonus sleep. Adding links to any live site who refered five people to the site this month to kill time (which means Butch finally gets his link.)

While doing so, I just figured out the FWAKAnimation site that’s linking to me (well, the CMLLBlog) is MUCHA LUCHA. Coolest thing this month.

Segue segue I need a segue.

Speaking of people cooler than me, I’ve been thinking about the Hives. I have this idea that someone could make a smashing political satire music video out of “Walk Idiot Walk”. It lends itself well to the idea – more so for 2000, but going back in time is tough nowadays. It seems like work, though. I don’t know if I’m for work. It’s better than Scrabble, though.

You know, if you use a title tag instead of an alt tag, the captions work for Mozilla type browsers too. Just saying. (so subtle)

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Had a couple modifications I wanted to do. Couldn’t get the MT RSS plugin to work. It doesn’t work with Atom yet and half the reason I wanted to use was to be able to see when Scott updated /baseball, so I’m not bothering with it right now.

I think I turned over all the archives that I actually use, too. I’m thinking about doing the same with the other articles, but I’ve got test it out first. And one would think I’d have better things to do.

I’ll probably fine tune a few other things later on; I have an idea on what I’d like to do instead of category archives, but we’ll see.

Perhaps I should work on actual content? Nah. I can stare at the TV this way.


CHC --- 32 (Maddux @ MON Biddle)
SDP --- 32 OFF
SFG --- 30 (Lowry @ ATL Thomson)
FLA 4.0 34 (Willis @ NYM Leiter)
HOU 4.0 32 (Munro @ CIN Hudson)

Oh. Great. Well, at least it’s not staying this way for long.

What we learned this weekend:

– There will be no point in his remaining Cubs tenure where anyone will feel safe with Kyle Farnsworth on the mound. Assuming he ever takes the mound again for them; on Sunday, it sounded like he was going to be other for something close to 3-4 weeks, instead of the cursory 15 day DL.

– Dusty still trusted him going into the inning, and then hoped he’d figure it out on his own. It was the first close inning since they started using him again, and there were plenty of other options. A halfway decent inning, and he’s back to the setup role.

– I have no proof, but there’s something more going on with Kyle than anyone outside of the club and the beat reporters know, and the beat reporters aren’t saying. There are traces of another story around the edges. Who knows. Probably come out eventually.

– Ryan Dempster can not yet pitch effectively three days in a row.

– Dusty Baker thinks it’s a fine idea to use Ryan three days in a row before using Todd W once. Anyway, I’m pretty happy if Ryan Dempster can pitch effectively one day in a row.

– Cubs starters, for all the hype, have not lived up to it down the stretch. The 5 game winning streak was as more fueled by the bats killing (bad) pitching, and the last three games were lost early by bad starting performances. It’s a great five man staff on paper, but they haven’t run people over by turning over good start after good start.

– Carlos’ non-catch at first base on Saturday, costing three ones on one play, is one of the biggest plays in the season. He catches the ball and makes the out and the Cubs score like they did, they win the game. Astros move Kent to A’s (as was expected all weekend if they didn’t sweep the last 3), Marlins think about moving their guys, and the wild card races on both sides are affected. Kent’s not going anywhere now.

– You can fake taking a pitch to the head. I had no idea.

– People are getting nailed next time the Astros and Cubs meet. Next season or tiebreaker game, both teams will meet on the field. It’s inevitable.

– The six games with the Marlins loom over everything. The Mets have this habit of losing to anyone close to the playoff hunt, so things are looking up for the fish.

– As much as I don’t have faith in this bench and think they need one more hitter (because Hollandsworth isn’t going to be the same this season), they’re getting their jobs done much better than last year.

– As much as it’d help, the Cubs are never going to have a good bullpen this year. I can’t see it turning into anything better than a coin toss each day. They’ve got to take advantage of Rusch being good as long as they can and move him into a better slot, but I don’t see LaTroy settling down or anyone else emerging as a solid 1 inning guy. Every day brings a polar opposite report on the status of Joe Borowski, but the common denominator is he’s pitching in the 80s, not the low 90s where he was successful. Cubs can’t expect him to pull them off the tracks.

– Which means the starters have to be better, and go longer. And this weekend, they were worse in both.

Saturday’s game was the first time I thought they didn’t have it this year. FWIW. It’s not as publicly as bad as the St. Louis series, but it’s just as low.

This is the first Cubs trip to Montreal in two years. They went to Puerto Rico for the series last year. Nomar’s going to sit a lot in this series, while Grudz is going to play with the same injury. Dusty likes to say it’s because Grudz is used to their AstroTurf. I like to say it’s because Walker could play second and we’d be fine, but we can’t lose Nomar. I suspect Alou will get at least one day off as well, and maybe Sammy if they can convince him.

Cubs really need a win today to turn around some of the negative energy.

John Thomson, ATL’s starting pitcher, has a record of 10-8 with a 4.20 ERA this season. I have no idea who this guy is. I didn’t know he existed till I look up the matchup. I don’t believe you could be run away with a division more under the radar than the Braves have.

Today’s PHI/CWS – a make up of a 06/10 rainout during Interleague season – is semi-important. You can’t really write out even the Phillies (6.0 out) at this point, though it’s going to be tough for them make up ground on so many teams at once. (And if they somehow did win, would Bowa keep his job?) It’s also the last Interleague game of the season, and the AL’s up by 1 game, 126 to 125, on the year. NL’s won two years, Al’s won one year, so either it’s a tie for the season or it’s a tie overall.

No one cares, though. What a shame.

weekend tv


Velocity and Heat are finished for the week. Nine RAW wrestlers got to have TV matches this week. I have no idea how Tyson Tomko (and others) made the cut.

The 2004 RAW/SmackDown Indexes and the Cruiserweight History pages are caught up.

So run down today. This is what watching handball at 5 AM will do to you. My brain is so warped, I spent the last 15 mintues trying to figure out why “Can’t Stand Me Now” by the Libertines keeps reminding me of “Sunday Morning” by No Doubt. is too much fun for a franchise operation. I wonder who got paid to write the book.

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big money


Joe went to the Braintree ROH show and has a recap. Biggest news (outside of huge cash prizes) seems to be what’s happening next time. Midwest people are jealous.

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RAW 08/23


Scott’s finally lived thru enough RAW to recap it.

I’m thinking no one realized it was the 400th 2 Hour RAW, or they didn’t care enough to point it out.

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am I blue?


Number one and best ever.

(This is why I don’t eat pork.)

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quotable feely


“And here’s BUBBA RAY DUDLEY coming down the aisle, with a suave new headband.”

Holly and Gunn do rock-paper-scissors, and Gunn seems disappointed that he lost, even though it’s a singles match. Billy Gunn is a shithead.

Bradshaw’s all smiley. Mysterio’s all…short.

– 05/13/04

Circle, and here’s the music of MORDECAI, here to cleanse the WWE of Jews and Asians.

This took about two and a half minutes, and would work a lot better if Mordecai didn’t look like Albino Donal Logue.

Goes for a clothesline, but into a Fujiwara armbar. Serves you right, Cena, you dumbass.

– 05/20/04

The Dudleyz kidnapped Paul Bearer. Ohhhhh nooooo!!!! bahahaha I am so funny.

Haas puts Dupree in a half nelson so Rico can kiss him. He’s so gay! And now he’s all like “Oh no you dint shove me, GIRLFRIEND.” after Haas throws Dupree back into the ring. Cena takes advantage of this gay distraction to schoolbody Dupree for two. Dupree pops right back up, clothesline. Stomp, but Cena throws Dupree over the top onto the other side, between Gunn and Holly. Gunn, not be outgayed, kisses Dupree as Holly puts him in a full nelson. Hahaha just kidding.

Chavo Guerrero gets some stomps in until the faces come to his aid. FEAR ORLANDO JORDAN

– 05/27/04


Here’s Booker with a chair, about to hit Cena, who moves so Booker hits Angle’s injured leg. Oh no, now he’ll be crippled!

I hope Eddy consults Carribean Legend Savio Vega how to win this match against Bradshaw, because he’s done it.

– 06/03/04

Handshake of racial unity.

Suzuki seems unimpressed and slightly confused by Scotty’s entrance. And perhaps hair.

RVD helps Cena up, then makes the “I want da belt” motion. They talk a little, Cena makes the “I have da belt” motion. They nod, appearing to reach an understanding, AND RVD KICKS CENA IN THE HEAD BAHAHAHAHA YES. That was probably the best thing RVD’s ever done.


Haas fights out, irish whip held onto by Haas, who busts out a T-Bone Suplex, to honor the late greats Tazz, Perry Saturn, and Shelton Benjamin.

JR fellates HHH and HBK, Kane fellates HBK if by fellates you mean crushes his throat,

“The SmackDown! Divas want YOU at the Great American Bash! If you thought the summer break out bikini contest was hot, stay tuned, the Great American Bash is gonna get EVEN hotter. The SmackDown! Divas would like to OFFICIALLY invite you to come party with us ALL NIGHT LONG.” WOO INNUENDO


Angle, in addition to being crippled, is also smiley. :).

Gunn fights out, and Suzuki acts all CRAZY and PUMPED UP and it’s STUPID.

Cole affirms that who we thought to be an innocent geisha girl is in fact EEEEEVIL.


“Ladies and gentlemen (1), I am the single most impactful power broker in all of World Wrestling Entertainment.” Wow, way to beat out…”Mr. Dot-Com” Paul Ellering?

(04’20” WEEEEEED). Mordecai is shocked and upset. And perhaps damning this audience to Hell.

“Paul Heyman, REST…IN…PEACE.” Heyman stands there stunned and worried. I sit here sick of this shit.


I note that both times Torrie Wilson only grabbed and congratulated Paul London. OH NO MAYBE SHE MARRIED KIDMAN ONLY FOR HIS HAIR.

Pumping up the sneakers. Tazz: “Pumpin’ em’ up, I don’t know what it does, but it does somethin’ for him, Cole.” It gets him kneed in the gut, that’s what.

And Cena seems to have gotten better in the ring. Not that he’s that GOOD, and not that that finisher isn’t awful, but baby steps.



Kenzo still has his platform thing for his entrance. You were dying to know, I’m sure.



Apparently there’s some controversy or some crap about last Wednesday, whatever.

Well, there’s only one way that I think I can end this


-07/16/04 (Impact)

Tazz says the hair on JBL’s back is standing up, and the spotlight shows that to be true. His back hair can do tricks like Vince McMahon’s ass.

Torrie Wilson (and the other Divas) were fired, and backstage, Billy Kidman cried in Paul London’s arms.

“That ain’t a moustache, those are Kurt Angle poopy stains!” Poopy. Ha.


“WHO’S HOUSE?” Crowd is like “…uh, ours? Yours? Cena’s? The Bearcats’?”

And here’s the Peanuthead militant comin’ to get it owwwwwwn. Hahahaha everyone’s just kind of like “what?” while Booker just keeps applauding.

Angle turns the key and…gets a face full of powder (or cocaine)!


I was wondering where O.J. was. I didn’t really MISS him, but still, I wanted to know.

JBL cuts him off before he goes into a soliloquy about the loss of Rue

London and Kidman have matching jobber trunks and robes (white with flames) to go with their new jobber music.


Kane/Matt for the rights to Lita’s vagina

Man, what the hell, that was actually good.

Dupree doesn’t surrender to a German? Highly unrealistic.


RAW REBOUND: Orton wins the belt but loses all his friends. So sad. Wait wait WHO GOT VOTED OFF THE DIVA SEARCH TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME




The series is tied, and that was, uh, not good.

Replays confirm that Josh sells like a champ and nobody cares about Heidenreich.

HAVE A VERY FEELY AUTUMN! Whatever that means.