(This is not a blog, Hobbes. No it’s not. Keep it up and I’ll link to your page.)
You know what was a great moment in humankind this week? When ESPN realized it could show multiple commericals for Cold Pizza. Really. I no longer wanted to meet Kit. I never wanted to meet Kit. If I ever found myself meeting Kit, I would want to loudly ask her to stop being wild and/or unpredictable (and then if there’s an offical post-Real World/Road Rules “how to be an aspring actor” class or if they all just make it up as they go.)
The second batch of ads where they’re hanging out (and not just telling me their names AS IF I CARE) are better. It wasn’t going to get me to watch either, but it didn’t reek of “we have nothing here so we’re just gonna have them act goofy and overhype them” like the other ads did. Oh hurdle, it’s a PUN. Thanks for explaining that to me.
Just because I go to websites too easily, I visited Cold Pizza’s website. Nothing says “someone got this first” than a .tv domain, you know. Anyway, for you, I shall go through the effort of C&Ping their Monday preview:
Notable film and TV actor Fred Willard, who recently appeared in American Wedding, A Mighty Wind and Everybody Loves Raymond, will be a guest on the Cold Pizza’s first show.
The Wiffle Ball – Cold Pizza will look at the 50th anniversary of the Wiffle Ball, a sport that evokes childhood memories of backyard fields and quirky ground rules.
As part of National Pizza Month, the new show will present a series designed to highlight the great American staple. Monday’s show will feature a pizza eating contest with three of the top-ranked competitive eaters in the U.S.
Excusively on Cold Pizza: We’ll announce the 2003 winners of the Women’s Sports Foundation’s Individual Sportswoman of the Year and Team Sportswoman of the Year awards
“Sports on Broadway” – a five-part series that will look at the intersection of sports and theatrical plays on the Great White Way. Monday will feature the cast of the Tony-winning Take me Out – a play about a celebrated New York City baseball hero who announces that he is gay.
Uh, yea. That’ll work. I’ve been dying to know who won SportsWoman of the year! I can’t believe that got that kinda scoop away from SportsCenter. Jim was threating to tape this and give this to me, which would be the most hurtful thing a friend can do to a friend.
The thing that astounds me is that this – and Playmakers and whatever other lovely crap they put on ESPN in the near future – is supposed to appeal to people who don’t normally watch ESPN (a theory that has noteably failed in other places around here, but I’m off track enough).
They’re only advertising on the ESPN networks.
Their own ads feature the typical current ESPN viewers (white! male! 18-39!) so they’re not really doing anything for the non-ESPN people.
So, maybe they’re doing it for the traditional ESPN viewer and just fibbing in the media stuff? THEY’RE DOING A WEEK LONG SERIES ON BROADWAY. ON ESPN. BROADWAY.
They’re insane. That’s it. It must be a tough life.
Speaking of ESPN related stuff: Hey, could someone go back in time and tell TMQ not to say something stupid so I can still read his stuff on, uh, Tuesdays? The upside t’s always fun when people get fired and their employers try to act like they’ve never existed. I dare ya to go find any Gregg Easterbrook content on ESPN.com now – they’ve not only completely obliverated what he said in the past, they’ve completely taken out many things that linked to him on other. I wonder if they’ll try to slip by Tuesday without mentioning that he’s gone.
I wonder if Slate can take him back? He does have a blog where he can post those sort of things, but he did a nice job of balancing out the good and the bad on Page 2 (and now the Good side sure ain’t winning.)
(altering this page more. probably will do more. feel free to do feedback. Say something really offensive so I can pull commenting!)
The only ESPN programming I watch now is Sunday NFL Countdown. I even stopped watching PTI and Around The Horn (Stat Boy hosted last week.)
This kind of crap (Cold Pizza, Playmakers, Beg Borrow & Deal) really doesn’t fit in with ESPN.
Corrado
My amount of ESPN watching dropped off dramatically when the Cubs got eliminated, to the surprise of few. I think more people watch the SportsCenter and Baseball Tonight shows not because they don’t know what happened, but because they do know what happened and want to see it again. Not as fun when your team loses.
If I was awake on Sundays, I’d probably watch CountDown too.
NFL [EA Sports] Matchup is a great show for what I’m looking for in a football show anyway. Though they totally misuse the Madden stuff – why do a segment on someone’s footwork, and use the video from the game? It’s not THAT realistic. It’s best when they use it to model how a play works as a setup to the actual game footage, but I get the impression there’s some of how they use the game is taken out of their hands.
Playmakers is on there too, but only because I was swayed by good early advance reviews, and now that it’s proven to suck so horribly yet I know it’s only 11 episodes long (3 to go), I want to make it the whole way through just to say that I made it and survived to tell the tale. I’m sure I’m going to be in the vast minority about that, except they’ll probably renew it anyway.
But then I spend most of the time using the fast forward button on it, so I guess I’m breaking the spirit of watching it all. Eh.
Things would’ve worked out much better if some how ESPN ended up with the NASCAR deal, because by then there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day for all the other junk.
God, I’m so tired of those Cold Pizza commercials, especially Kit doing that stupid dance. And really, when you announce that someone’s “wild and unpredictable,” is there a bigger warning sign that the complete opposite is true? That is, unless Kit goes on a tirade about why Michael Eisner shouldn’t promote a violent film like Kill Bill because he’s Jewish.
And I guess Bill Simmons is going to be a part of this starting tomorrow. I may have to set a tape.
[Simmons, for the record, will always get a free pass from me becase [a] he’s a Boston sports fan, [b] he’s a wrestling fan, and [c] we went to the same college.]
My ESPN watching is limited to PTI and the occassional Around the Horn (that announcer saying a word that rhymes with “Around,” then pausing and yelling “THHHHEEEEE HOOOOOOOORRRNNN” just never gets old).
And Riboflavin? It’s a compound found in Vitamin B. I mean, jeez Kit…
What/when happen to Easterbrook? Haven’t found any info!
Follow this thread – http://board.deathvalleydriver.com/index.php?showtopic=2838 – for all the relevant links.
He hasn’t publically send anything about TMQ – and his New Republic blog (which got him into the trouble – which is why this is not a blog) hasn’t been updated in a few days, since his apology.